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MORNING SEX

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walked in.

She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me -- this very
moment."

His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his
all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

A Doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his
Irish assistant Paddy., "I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't
want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take
care of all of our patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Paddy.

The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following day and asks: So,
Paddy, how was your day?

Paddy told him that he took care of three patients. The first one had a
headache so I gave him Panadol."

"Bravo Mate and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Asprin".

"Excellent. You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the
doctor.

"Well, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman
enters. Like a woman possessed, she undresses herself, taking off
everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table
and shouts:

'HELP ME! For five years I haven't seen a man!'"

"Good God "says the doctor."What did you do?"

"I put drops in her eyes!"

Old boy goes into chemist's.
"Can I have 6 viagra please?"

"Six? Do you have a prescription?"

"No, but I've a photo of the wife!"

Q. How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

A. Only one, but it takes a whole A&E team to get it out again.........

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